What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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