Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am available for nakedness
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
