We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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