Ambien. No doubt about it.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
