you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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