i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
