If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
