We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
