I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
