Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I will pee on everything he values.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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