Where did you get a picture of my penis
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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