I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Still dying that you shit outside
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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