You're my little dorito
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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