Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
