Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
