you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize