guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
