i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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