just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
