not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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