I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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