people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Let's get the cat blown out
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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