the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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