Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
