don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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