She's JV to your varsity
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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