i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
