My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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