you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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