She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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