is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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