Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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