Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
