By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
