Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you had me at cake vodka
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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