So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
