She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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