there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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