also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
