Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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