I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
