Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
