Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
