so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize