I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
third nipple confirmed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
