Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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