ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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