just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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