He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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