you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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