i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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