we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
