If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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