We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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