At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
