you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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