Soap is not a condiment
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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