i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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