how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
You took acid last night and Iām up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldnāt be more perfect.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
