I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
