Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
