All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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