good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
