i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
