Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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