Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
