Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize