I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
